Mia Jäverlings Blogg

"Bättre skjuta rygg, än arm ur led"

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Kategori: Vardag

Längtar efter solen, det är en sällsynt vara hos oss den här vintern. Det är ju i februari den kan börjar värma, om den orkade komma fram och det är plusgrader. Jag är nog i stort behov av solen, känner mig trött. Den där solen kan göra  susen hos folk. Jag längtar också efter isen, den där pimpelisen som brukar ligga tjock på våra sjöar den här årstiden. Vi hade ju planerat för att vara i husvagnen, koka kaffe och bre smörgåsar och ta några dagar med att pimpla in våren. Men den där isen är det inte mycket med, man varnar för svag is och enligt rapporter så är det ingen stor kyla i sikte.
Om solen och isen går om intet så längtar vi ut till att övernatta i husvagnen, sista vändan gjorde mersmak. Lugnet och stillheten och inga möten, inga måsten. Lyckan består av det jag bygger.
 
 
 
 
Sedan så längtar jag extra då vagnen verkligen var en överraskning, jag menar med att ha komfort och värme på vintern. Än så länge är vi nöjda med den nya vagnen, som också är så jäkla snygg.
Det nya vintertältet har stått uppe hela vintern och klarat sig alldeles utmärk, vi har skotta av det några gånger. Så perfekt att slippa tänka på tältuppsättning till våren.
Vi ska "trimma" in köksdelen nu i vår, köpa en bänkskiva, och socklar, sätta på beslag och sedan har vi en bra arbetsyta ute i förtältet. Vi har också sett ut en mindre kyl/frys, som ska få ersätta det gamla. Det drar mindre energi och är smalt, men rymmer det vi behöver.
Vi  bygger även ut trädäcket framför förtältet till våren, sedan är vår framtida sommarstuga färdig. Det blev bättre än vad vi trodde.
 
 
 
Jag ser fram emot juni då jag återvänder till Skottland, denna gång så blir det bara en vecka och då blir till Edinburgh sedan vidare till södra Skottland, Moffat. Där bor jag hela veckan. Klanen ska ha möte där och förlagt den till den helg då Stirling sprudlar av folk, och då det firas 700 års jubileum av slaget i Bannockburn. En fest med säckpipor och highlandgames, då olika klaner samlas och bär sina särskilda kiltar. En dag då ska vi till Stirling och Stirling Castle, där spelar 1000 skottar säckpipor och går en parad med klanerna i tåget. Det kommer att bli många och underbara fotoobjekt. En häftig resa som slår alla chartergrejer, ett fint land, trevliga människor, otrolig natur och just helt otroligt att fota, människor och allt det gröna. Mina resor gör mig glad. Mitt resesällskap är en person som jag skrattar med och vi jämkar, och vi gör det som vi vill göra, vill inte den ena så faller inget, utan den andra gör det den vill. Skottland är ett land som jag känner mig hemma i.
 
Klan Moffats tartan
 
Skogen i Moffat Village

 
 
Jag behöver ha de delar i mitt liv som ger glädje, och jag vet vilka det är. Har förstått att jag är en magnet som drar till mig negativa filspån, som hela tiden vill påminna mig om att jag inte passar in i deras liv. Trots att jag inte har några som helst krav på dem så verkar dom inte villa släppa mig, utan ständigt påminna och banka i mig vilka fel och vad dålig jag är. Livet är faktiskt så, det verkliga livet. Jag har mentorer och "polstjärnor" som kan ge handledning och hjälp som talar om hur jag ska agera och eventuellt svara, hur jag borstar bort filspånen. Trots den balans jag fått och all den kunskap jag har fått så är det vissa delar som justeras. Jag släpper, jag släpper och känner inget hat, utan jag tar ansvar för det som ligger i fatet. Det är slut på att ställa upp på andras befallningar, och dom talar om vad jag ska göra och vad jag får göra, precis som min far gjorde under min uppväxt. Ibland vet jag inte om jag passar in i den här världen, jag har full förståelse att människor blir ensamvargar och distanserar sig från samhället, där människor ständigt tar sig rätten att smutskasta, förgöra, förbjuda, piska, ge pekpinnar.
Några klarar inte se människor som vill gott, som vill något. Att visa att man har kontakt med sina egna känslor är något som inte ses som normalt. Idag ska vi tydligen inte vara vanliga. Vi ska förgöra, smutskasta, visa avundsjuka, inte unna andra. Jag tycker väldigt synd om de som växt upp i nutid, och måste leva i det samhälle som snabbt håller på att formas. Faktiskt så vill jag inte se det, och det är så jävla tydligt. Empati är ett fult ord och ofta ska den bara utföras som en envägskommunikation, alltså inget givande och tagande, utan bara tagande. Tur att jag slipper se framtiden om ca 50 år, det är jag tacksam för. Har inte något stort hopp om att en drastisk förändring sker. Jag tycker att samhället är iskallt, rent mentalt. De gör mej fruktansvärt rädd.
 
Jag är ingen handelsvara, jag är inte till salu.
 

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